"Do you love your country? Then how about getting with the program?"
That is Her Majesty's Laundry Service quoting 'Full Metal Jacket' in order to raise an important issue which plagues us all, day and night... the luke-warm response to the Saturday contest here at Bames Jond.
Fortunately, the entries that have come in thus far have been pant-wettingly amusing and so there hasn't been a duff weekend where we have been forced to represent our fine establishment with sub-par wit, but the number of scripts every week has dwindled nonetheless.
A regular contributor to these communiques, Dr Pete Scarborough, has once again run away with the accolades with this stunning entry. He was last seen running into the Forest of Dean shouting "ALLLL MIIINE" according to our sources.
Your mission this week: provide arse-destroyingly funny words for this here blank strip. You have until Friday, 9th September. Do not falter, dear friends. Do not falter.