Saturday, 24 September 2011

Bames Jond on Saturday! 24/09/11

The honour of the Saturday strip again falls on Pete Scarborough who conjured images of Britain's illustrious past and made us all realise how much better life was when it was full of innuendo.

Interesting to note, however, that we here at HMLS have looked into this Pete Scarborough fellow and found some peculiarities in his history. Once known as Sir Peter Perpovakov, the longtime presenter of radio broadcast quiz The World in General, his tenure on the show ended prematurely when Ofcom discovered he had been helping a retired keyboard player to consistently beat an unemployed person week after week using a code which turned out to be well-known by the KGB. After the scandal Perpovakov went underground and he has remained out of sight until the pull of Bames Jond proved too strong and he broke cover, using the alias Scarborough.

Be warned, sir. We are onto you. But still you make us laugh, so keep those strips funny or we'll go tell mum.

Anyone fancy a pop at this? If not, sod you. If so, e-mail the most nose-trumpetingly amusing dialogue you can think of. NOW!

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Bames Jond on Saturday! - 17/09/11

Someone pass the bleach.

Her Majesty's Laundry Service held their annual Christmas party last night, which is one of twelve annual Christmas parties we are forced to attend. Literally, forced. At gunpoint. By the KGB. I know! It doesn't make any sense! All in all, a nervous time was had by all, with much alcohol consumption and fun party games such as 'pin the grenade on the civilian', 'sleeping (real) lions' and 'blind man's the designated driver'. Suffice to say, we all feel somewhat hungover, guilty and not fit for duty.

But never mind that, because there's been another Bames Jond on Saturday! contest winner! This week's strip is by a previous winner, a certain Mike Exner III who we are currently investigating for dolphin smuggling but who nonetheless won our hearts with the mere mention of a cyclops*. Well done Mike (and do you have any receipts for the dolphins? We're not having much luck).

This week's mission is below. The usual submission address for your scripts applies (oh, all right, it's so get them in or we'll... we'll think of something. Maybe.

* one of the cleaning staff here at HMLS is a cyclops and we all love her. In turn.

Saturday, 10 September 2011

Bames Jond on Saturday! - 10/09/11

There's an evil plot afoot in this week's winning Bames Jond on Saturday contest entry, written superbly by Matt Sandbrook!

Yes indeed, many guffaws and chortles were heard from the offices of Her Majesty's Laundry Service on receipt of this cracker. The standard of entries from our loyal readership was very high yet again, and long may this continue, say we.

Next week's strip... Get writing and e-mail your scripts to

Sunday, 4 September 2011

Bames Jond on Saturday! - 04/09/11 (which is a Sunday)

"Do you love your country? Then how about getting with the program?"

That is Her Majesty's Laundry Service quoting 'Full Metal Jacket' in order to raise an important issue which plagues us all, day and night... the luke-warm response to the Saturday contest here at Bames Jond.

Fortunately, the entries that have come in thus far have been pant-wettingly amusing and so there hasn't been a duff weekend where we have been forced to represent our fine establishment with sub-par wit, but the number of scripts every week has dwindled nonetheless.

A regular contributor to these communiques, Dr Pete Scarborough, has once again run away with the accolades with this stunning entry. He was last seen running into the Forest of Dean shouting "ALLLL MIIINE" according to our sources.

We here at HMLS would love to hear from the readers, both feedback on the strips so far and more scripts for the Saturday contests. Don't be shy, buy a pie! Oh, and is the site looking more agreeable to your eyes these days? The strips are now larger for ease of reading.

Your mission this week: provide arse-destroyingly funny words for this here blank strip. You have until Friday, 9th September. Do not falter, dear friends. Do not falter.

Saturday, 3 September 2011

Mission failure! ABORT!

Sadly, postponement of the Saturday strip is sadly unavoidable. It will, however, be posted tomorrow along with a new Sunday Villain image.

In the meantime, send your comedy script in to and you might just be the writer of said strip!